OK, so let’s get real – Self-care is NOT selfish.
It’s absolutely essential, particularly when you are working so hard, caring for those around you, trying to understand why the world is falling apart, and recovering from two years of pandemic misery.
I think that for women in particular, it’s so easy to take on too much, to try and be all things to all people and to forget that we need to care of ourselves too. So often we say yes to far more than we can realistically manage, trying to ensure everyone around us is happy – and leaving ourselves at the bottom of the priority list.
We have to look after our own mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health if we want to keep on functioning and be able to help others. It’s the same principle as putting the oxygen mask on yourself before others in an airplane – you can’t help others if you are not fit to do so.
So making time for yourself, to relax and recharge, is not a luxury, it’s a necessity if you don’t want to burn out.
As Ann Lamott says:
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
So make some time for you – it might be time to enjoy a cup of tea, go outside and breathe some deep breaths of fresh air or maybe walk the dogs or go to the yoga class. If you really feel like it, you could splurge out and treat yourself to that spa break or holiday.
Whatever you choose make sure you:
- Take a break every now and then – just because
- Spend some guilt free time doing something that gives you joy
- Prioritise looking after your own mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health
And the guilt free is important – taking time to read a book, but constantly thinking about the other things you should be doing – that is not self care. If you are not careful is becomes another reason to beat yourself up and tell yourself you are not managing things properly. You probably don’t begrudge others the time to do some of the things they love to do, so don’t treat yourself any differently.
It really doesn’t matter what your self-care activity is, the important part is ensuring that you do something for yourself – show yourself the same love and attention that you would show to others in your life. Take care of yourself, as you are precious and valuable.
Warning signs that you are not caring for yourself are feeling constantly anxious, guilty or just plain over-loaded. Self care can also include accepting that help that someone is offering, saying no to things that are just too much on top of the essentials you have to do and allowing people to have their own chores and responsibilities and holding them to fulfilling them. All of this involves having clear boundaries in place over your time and energy- not a strength for many women and something we will explore further in this blog over the next few weeks.
When I work with clients, this is one of the core practices we put in place to improve their lives – self care. From there everything else can flourish and grow.
If you need some tips on practice for self care, head on over to the free resources page and you will find some information there that may inspire and help you.
And if you are ready to make some changes to your life and need support to achieve your dreams, you can find out more about how to work with me here.
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